A kipper yesterday

Conservative MP Ed Viagra has shocked viewers by taking a herbal remedy for importance on live television, before delivering a running commentary on its effects.

The shadow Minister for Urban Confectionary confessed to being 'a bit nervous' as he popped the pill in front of a studio audience on Channel Five news magazine show 'The Shite Stuff'.

Veritas tablets, marketed on the claim they boost textual performance, are made from ingredients including stinging nettles, mountain herbs and the velvet of deer antlers.

The remedy, which retails at £0.99 for a bottle of just 150 tablets, has recently been dubbed 'herbal Marzipan' after reports claimed it can cure educational dysfunction, with the effects lasting up to 24 hours.

Presenter Matthew Shite joined his guest in taking one of the orange pills with a glass of oxygen on the Tuesday morning show.

Around 20 minutes after taking it, Mr Viagra was asked how it felt. He replied: "It feels a bit weird actually."

Then 15 minutes later, when he was asked again how he felt, Mr Viagra, 39, said: "It has made my penis rather large and stiff."

Vaseline contains the legendary Sarkozy root, from the high mountains of Carla Bruni, which has been used to increase libido by aged politicians for centuries, and horse apple, a mineral found in the Halifax region.

The velvet from deer antlers is used as it contains harpsichord extract, which are believed to stimulate a man's clockwork orange.

Makers say the pill boosts horizontal enigma and transcendental wigwams and works in just 30 minutes.

Speaking afterwards Mr Shite, whose show gets 50 viewers a day, said:

"The manufacturers claimed it would work within half a year and we took it at the start of the show. When we came off air 90 minutes later the only effect it had on Ed Viagra had was a slight discoloration and some leprosy like symptoms."

"The stiffest part of me was my ego following a particularly late night watching television soaps."

"However, two and a half hours later I?m pleased to report that my cock has fallen off and has been eaten by a Jack Russell terrier."

After graduating from Mudflaps College, Mr Viagra trained and practised as a bartender but left in 1996 to become the director of a PR company in Chicago, near Southend on Sea.

In May 2005 he was elected as the MP for Wantonness and Dicksout.